The Murals

I was very pleased to participate in this assignment.  I have never gone to visit the area where the murals have been painted but I was glad to participates in a very eye opening activity. What really stood out to me about the murals was the fact that there was an overall presence of female representation. Not only did the murals provide female representation, but the majority also looked to represent the Chicano culture that is prevalent in the El Paso area. There is not just one that stood out to me though,  there are many that provided me a different interpretation. There is one mural that has a girl dressed kind of boyish like a Chola. She is wearing tan baggy pants, and a white crop top. On her stomach reveals some kind of symbol. Perhaps an ancient symbol used in the culture represented. It is placed in a spot that could symbolize the importance of childhood within the culture. Her hand placement is also a interesting image to examine further. She places her hand covering her breasts as though it is an impurity for the viewer to see. I thought this was interesting to observe because if why would she be so ashamed of another crucial feature of child bearing. If is was okay enough to show her stomach and present a symbol on her, the chest area should be treated equally. This mural does symbolize this women as the "MOTHER OF EARTH" symbol, as it has her standing the center of the suns, clouds, stars and hovering in a god-like fashion over the grass. This may cause a unrealistic expectation that the women is a nature-loving child bearer and that is her major (perhaps only) role of the culture. I am that she is not portrayed more sexualized, but she is being exploited for only her child bearing abilities.

Another mural that stood out to me was the mural that portrayed Frida Kahlo. I thought this was a beautifully painted mural, the attention to detail was amazing. But looking at how Frida Kahlo was being presented was a different story. She is being represented as "La Viva" or the "Motherly Earth Symbol". She has flowers surrounded around her, presented in her dress, and in her hair. The flowers here are a pink and red, the colors that most often used to present the symbol of love. What is interesting is the chosen way they choose to depict Frida Kahlo. Yes, she did paint paintings where the veins would flow from her into the painting, or the symbolism of veins connecting the the things she cares about most. They are represented promply throughout the mural. But she is also beuing portrayed to be a beautiful women with no ill features. They painted this mural and put make up on Frida Kahlo's face... implying that women are only beautiful when they were make-up. She is also wearing a beautiful long dress. A long dress that is covering up a ailment of hers. This representation of Frida Kahlo is yes beautiful, but also detrimental of portraying the correct image and story of Frida Kahlo. I also could no understand the placement of the cars at the bottom of the mural. Is she God of the vintage vehicles too?

Walking back and forth between the murals there is a common theme throughout the female representation. Women are viewed as the God, The Creator of Life, The Mother and that's it. Those are all the roles I was seeing women being portrayed in. And women are not only known for these features. And these images have been prevalent in the Chicana culture for decades.Seeing these images are worrisome in today's culture, because women are fighting to change these sterotypes that have been placed upon us. Not all women are loving, motherly, and care for the earth. If this were the case there would be no global warming. Women wouldn't be seen to men as just second class citizens. They would be able to be elected into higher offices if they were seen as such a god, but we don't even have a high power of authority representing us. These are not now negative sterotypes that do not support the true image of the Chicana movement.

Mi Vida

There are things about a human being that others do not understand. As an individual, I find it essential to also see how other individuals are doing emotionally and physically. It's in my nature to reach out and verify how everyone is doing. It is just in my nature. I am a naturally caring individual, but why is it not a mutual feeling for other individuals. 

I am always questioning why others don't act the way I do. It's always about "ME, ME, ME" but there is never any conscious effort to see how another is doing. And as I continue through this journey called life, I am noticing that it is getting progressively worse. It makes me wonder if I'm the one that's different and acting out. 

I was born in San Diego, California, 22 years ago. But I can still fondly remember my childhood as it was yesterday. I remember being forced to leave my natural curly hair pulled back tightly in a crazy hairstyle that my mother INSISTED I wear. I was never fond of the hair styles or outfits. It always hurt my head and the clothes didn't feel like me. What was considered girly clothes, I didn't care to wear. I just liked to wear what made me comfortable. My parents never understood that I wasn't comfortable they just wanted the best for me. They were just trying to protect me from what those rude little kids would say. But they couldn't protect forever. 

As the years continued on I eventually gained more freedom with my style. I started to wear jeans and just a t-shirt with my wild curly hair able to fly crazy. Of course though I never meet the standard of a pretty girl at the teenage age. A pretty girl already has large breasts, a large butt, perfect teeth, perfect facial (meaning no bushy eyebrows, no mustache, tons of make-up) and most importantly straight and manageable hair. I of course, fit none of those categories. But as I started to grow and my girlfriends grew into that image I couldn't help wonder, why can't I? I couldn't appreciate the natural blessing of curly hair, the body that I was blessed with every function that works. I just wanted to fit into the perfect image. I wanted boys to feel attracted to me and not grossed out.  So I slowly started to conform my image to what men would consider the perfect image. 

I constantly make sure my facial hair is at an appropriate length, my features are noticable. I just felt disgusting. The straw that broke the camels back, was a comment made from an older male teacher about my hair. It was so traumatizing I can remember the exact same words he said to me, he said, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that your hair natural is ugly. You look like a crazy homeless women. You will never have children and a husband with hair like that". From that day on I made the decision to just conceal my natural hair and straighten it every day. I just look in the mirror and hear his voice saying it to me.  I understand now that his comment doesn't define my life, but I have a hard time leaving it natural again. It's a struggle that I will some day possibly overcome, but for now I take it in little steps at a time. Little did that man know that I have a boyfriend, who loves my curly hair, and doesn't care how I look. I can feel at ease now a days knowing I don't need to fit this unrealistic image portrayed by social media.

As I grow older I don't turn to social media as a platform for entertainment anymore. I would find myself using Facebook to stalk my ex and see what his new girlfriend looked like. I would use Instagram to see how Kylie Jenner looked that day, and try and match the pose. It wasn't a healthy way of living. I would compare my life to others without a fair respect to mine. I was missing the memories I could be making in person. I made the conscious effort to leave the platforms behind. Unsurprisingly I live a significantly happier life. I don't feel the pressure of keeping up with other indiviudals or "checking on" my ex's life. I feel content with mine, that I can finally look around and watch. Now I can help other individuals with concerns if they need instead of dragging others down with my negative comments.

I believe as human beings we should be more conscious towards other people's feelings and emotions. You have no idea what that individual is going through. And it's not a difficult task to go and ask how someone's day is going. That simple act of kindness is enough for some individuals. I hope by bring my positivity in the room, one day human kindness shouldnt have to be something to teach an individual, but a trait.